Thank you for all of your replies.
I understand that true intimacy isn't possible right now. What I can't understand is the "I feel close to you" and then suddenly "back off" attitude. I guess that's the predictable part mentioned.
I guess I've just got to hold him at arm's length until I can get my head together. I know I'm not ready to make an ultimatum right now, but it really does seem more and more like that's where it's going to end ... either he gets REAL help and recovery, or we are done here.
Ugh! I just read another thread describing this mess as being a "ragdoll on a roller coaster" - that describes me to a "T" today. He had a month under his belt and things felt good; I let the hope creep back in. And now, we're almost right back where we started.
BTW re the impotence issue. I guess it's possible? When we hit crisis mode last year (and I finally realized just how bad things were), it had become hit or miss whether anything would actually "work". That hasn't happened lately though. Although to be honest, when I brought this up once a few months ago when we were talking about things, he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about - not denying it happened but just [crickets]. So, maybe?