I am not sure if it is reasonable to have expectations of closeness / intimacy with an A. I can tell you , you're not alone, I too struggle with the push me pull me scenerio. I have learned that I need to decide what my needs are , and with any relationship if they are not getting met to ; 1. clearly explain what I need. 2. if the other person is not capable or willing to give it , decide on my own if I can live with it .