Your fear is real, but the danger is not. I've read that alcoholics drink to avoid suffering, but suffering through fear or anxiety is a very meaningful and soul enriching experience. Each time you survive without a crutch, you become stronger. Embrace your negative feelings and know that you are growing the strength to survive more easily next time, as you will have proven your strength and will have more faith in you ability to endure suffering.
I hope you are feeling better and better as you receive responses. I am sending you love and admiration through these lines. Xxx