Hey Merv,
I've somewhat been though this myself, and unfortunately for us, that's just not the way it goes down. You need to do this for yourself, and nobody else.
This reminds me of when I was living in Malta (just south of Italy). I hated Budapest, but decided to be as close as I could to my husband, so moved myself to Malta. I flew us back and forth when needed.
I remember the one time, I was hurting pretty bad, and intentionally left the apartment in a state of disarray just when he returned to Malta. Beer cans literally every where. I guess it was my way of saying, "I'm in pain, please help". Didn't work though. There were also times I was contemplating telling him to stop talking to me if I drank, etc.
For us, alcoholism is our own internal struggle that we must face ourselves. Nobody can help us, and it's up to us to buck up and face the music. There will definitely be people there to support you, but it's up to us to change ourselves.
Regardless of what you do, please take care of yourself!