Hi, all. This is my first post on here, but it's something I really need help with.
I've been drinking since I was in eighth grade, at the age of 14. I stopped that same year, but when I was a junior, after a bad relationship, I started again. I drank to deal with depression, loneliness, and self hatred. It's been off and on since then, and I've never gone more than two months clean, and in my senior year and most of freshman year of college, I never made it more than two weeks.
It's now about to be the beginning of my sophomore year. It's a whole new set of circumstances. I've been going out with a girl for six months, and things are going well. I started a new job at Walgreens, away from the unhealthy kind of influences I met in fast food. And to top it off, Sunday was my two months sober.
However, this is after a lot of setbacks. The last time I hit two months was I think February. No one knew that I'd been relapsing until a while back, when I got in a fight with my girlfriend. She almost left me. Since then, I've been fighting to stay sober, and like I said, I'm at two months.
But nobody cares. Out of the people I told, most ignored me, including my parents. Only two of my best friends said anything positive. And to top matters off, my girlfriend, who was so happy last time I was at two months, got incredibly upset with me on the sobriety anniversary, and wouldn't talk to me at all that day. I didn't say anything. Just, "Hey, babe, today is two months sober
" and then boom went the dynamite.
I don't know what's going on, but I feel like, because of my relapses and failures, no one cares that I'm sober. Ironically enough, it's really hard to deal with without drinking. I honestly feel a little abandoned, like I got back on the wagon and they're making me sit on the bumper.
Sorry if this was long winded and wordy. Just, I'm trying to stay strong and it feels like I'm doing it for nobody. Lord knows I'm not doing it for myself at this point.
Thank you, all.