Originally Posted by
MelindaFlowers 
Hey Sneeker,
This line really jumped out at me. This was me too. There was no such thing as one. It was different kind of craving than food, let's say. It was a powerful craving that took over and I was on autopilot to keep drinking until I really couldn't drink anymore that night.
Whatever plans of moderation I came up with I failed every time.
It was because of this craving that I knew I had to stop drinking altogether. And also because of this craving, stopping made me happier than trying to control it, which I never did anyways.
The negative consequences kept getting larger and larger too. I could not longer lead a productive life when alcohol was in the equation.
A few things. Firstly, I agree on many account with MF. I could not lead a productive life. I would describe myself as a cat who was going in and out of naps all day and was barely functioning at the end. During my not-so-heavy drinking phases, a few cups of wine would make cleaning enjoyable. I'd be slightly buzzed, get a few tasks done, and reward myself with more. Sometimes the buzz would wear off because I was intent on finishing a task.
As I neared the end of these days, with an epic trip to ER, followed by ICU, I wasn't really functions. I kept making excuses to take naps, and I would rejoice when night time came. It meant I could go to bed without all the raised eyebrows in the house, thinking, what is your problem? Why are you always just sitting there. I'd get up to go drink secretly.
Horrible existence. I was also buying the cheapest stuff available: Skol, McCormick, etc.
I "only" drank for 4 years hard core. And still, I had a lot of acute diagnoses when I landed in ER. My husband forced me there. I probably would have been dead if I didn't go because I spent 6 days there. It was no little matter that I could take care of at home, by myself.
I will say this, and that's why your thread caught my attention. I was pretty highly functioning when I had to be. In fact, I excelled at what I was doing. I was also not hitting the bottle when I had to be on point. The reason I ended up in the hospital was BECAUSE OF A BINGE. I don't mean to capitalize to be mean, but please be careful. Acidosis, one of many diagnoses, can only happen after binge drinking. I had other things wrong with me from drinking daily, but my body finally screamed "just stop it".
Be careful.