Refiner, with all due respect you have no idea what you're talking about.
I have always worked full-time, even before the baby was born. exAH has been unemployed the entire two years we've been married. I pay the bills. I make the appointments & keep them. I have always made sure the baby AND exAH have had what they've needed & beyond.
I also, for what it's worth, have always worked in nonprofit management. These organizations are completely at the mercy of grants & subsidies & when those disappear or a state's budget for social services is cut, so too are varying expenses so the orgs can stay afloat. One of, if not the single, highest overhead costs against capital gains in any business is staff salary. So my losing my job in a nonprofit org is completely beyond my control; how anything to do with now being unemployed stems directly from my ever relying on others to "bail me out" I don't know.
I do not have family here consistently & even when my parents ARE here, they do not babysit unless my son isn't in daycare & I absolutely cannot take him with me. I don't get financial handouts nor even emotional support from immediate family members. If I did, I likely would not be posting on SR for encouragement.
When I say that exAH disappeared I do not mean that he walked out the door, leaving me penniless & desperate because I rely on him. Quite the opposite. I kicked his ass out of MY apartment that I have to scrape & save to pay for, after two years of letting him rely on ME. My only mistake was to have married exAH in the first place & then to have put up with him for as long as I have.
There are plenty of well-meaning friends in my life as we speak. Do I rely on them to pay my bills, care for my child or otherwise depend on them?
No.
I know you mean well, but I feel I have to call your bluff on this one.I really do not see how what you've said has any direct correlation to the three issues I listed above.