bamaral

I am new to this website and am hoping to find others who may have or are in a similar situation to myself. I have been married for 4 years, with my husband, however, for about 7 years. I knew he was an addict when I married him - a recovering addict is what I was told. His mother died in 2009 and he relapsed. It took me a little while to figure it out and, after confronting him, he said he would go to meetings, get clean, etc. That worked for about 4 months and he relapsed again. He was kicked out of my house and he slept in a tent in the back yard. Since then, I cannot even count the number of times he has relapsed. Over the last 8/9 years that I have known him, he has stolen money from me, my son and his son. He relapsed again last month and left me a note that this relapse was taken to another level, that he knew this would be the straw that broke the camels back and if I needed to press charges, he understood. He went on to tell me that he stole money from my clients bank accounts. He said that he would pay it back, was sorry, etc. He was out of work when this happened, due to medical reasons. I typed him a long letter one night letting him know how hurt I was and that his actions were not tolerable and that he needed to move out. I told him that I expected him to pay me back. I told him that he was financially draining....that this wasn't the first time he had stolen money and I had to find a way to pay the bill he couldn't, pay my clients back, etc. I have a business out of my house and I just don't even trust him here. It is bad when I feel like I need to lock things up. Problem is, he breaks the lock and gets the money out! UGH! So, while he was out of work was the best time for him to go get help. I told him I thought he needed to go to an inpatient treatment program. His son is only with us every other week over the summer and if he needed to stay at his mother's for a while, again, this was the time to do it. He said No, that he would get help, that he could do it. When I asked about him finding someplace to live the excuse was "I'm not even working, how can I look for some place, I don't even have any money". Needless to say, he went to AA and NA meeting every day for about a week and a half and in the last 2 weeks he has gone to 2. This is typical history repeating itself. He started back to work this week. He still claims to have gotten no money from disability, yet I am sure he did and blew it. For all I know he is still using. I am just so frustrated. He tries to be loving, cuddly, etc. and, although I love him, I just feel like displaying too much affection just confuses what I want relative to him moving out. As much as it is going to hurt to see him go, it really is what is best. All the bills including the mortgage are in my name, so I am ultimately liable for everything and when he relapses it is just more money I need to come up with. Am I alone out here. I don't know how to get him to truly do what he needs to. Just today he was talk about when the kids go back to school in a month that he will need to pick them up after school. Clearly, that means he still intends on being here in a month. I am just so frustrated!