Hi there,
I never drank daily or in the morning etc. and sometimes I would go a week or more between binges (I even went 5.5 years once) and I am absolutely an alcoholic. My drinking pattern sounds VERY similar to yours actually. Basically my pattern was: go out on a Friday for 4-6 hours, get wasted, feel extremely hungover the next day, stay away for alcohol for 2 or 3 days and then do it all over again! Ugh! It was a nightmarish cycle! Truly! Each time I drank I told myself it was the last time but I kept repeating that cycle even though it was making me unhappy....extremely unhappy! :-(
For me, it was more about what alcohol was doing to my life and the way it was making me feel. It was standing in the way of my goals and dreams too. Binge drinking is actually the most dangerous type of drinking and it's very hard on the liver and other vital organs.
The bottom line for me was acceptance. No one "wants" to be an alcoholic. Many people are alcoholics but never "label" themselves. You don't have to label yourself. You can simply say "I have a drinking problem or I drink too much or I am a former drinker" or whatever. I understand your feelings about the word "alcoholic". I really do. And sometimes I refer to myself as an alcoholic to a close family member or my husband but most of the time I don't. If people ask if I want a drink, I just say "no thanks, I don't drink".
I was talking to my husband last night and he is NOT an alcoholic. I asked him if he thinks about alcohol. He said "No, sometimes if it's around I will just grab a cold beer because it's there but that's about it!" Really?!? I DO NOT GET THE POINT! Haha. I guess he thinks about alcohol like I think about having a glass of water or juice or whatever. I don't obsess and get on a sober recovery website because I think I have a "juicing" problem. Lol. ;-)
Anyway, have you tried to just stop drinking for 90 days? If so, was it pretty easy? Did you count the days or obsess about it? A few years ago my husband decided not to have a drink for 90 days to get in really good shape (he also cut out sweets, fried foods etc.) and he didn't even realize it had been 90 days until we went to a wedding after like 120 days and he had a glass of wine and felt a little dizzy. He didn't like that dizzy feeling so he stopped and ate some food! Again, really?!? Haha. That makes NO sense to me. I love that dizzy feeling! :-0
I don't know about you but if I drink, I DRINK! I either don't drink at all or I drink until I am very buzzed or drunk. It's not how much I drink that makes me an alcoholic (or someone with a drinking problem). It's what HAPPENS when I drink.
Maybe try to STOP for 90 days. If you are not an alcoholic or do not have a drinking problem then that should be very easy. That should tell you a lot. Again, no one "wants" to be an alcoholic. It's just a label. I just choose to use it (in my own head) so I never forget what I am. And I don't go around advertising it. I just don't drink anymore. My body is different than my husbands. He has an "off switch" and I don't.
Anyway, I hope my post helped....even if a little. I'm glad you are here asking these questions. I'm sure you will figure it all out and in the mean time SR is here to support you! Feel free to PM me any time if you have questions. Again, it sounds like our drinking patterns are/were very similar.
Best to you!