Highly Functioning and Highly Dysfunctional
I need advice badly. Late last year I went to a detox clinic, stopped drinking for a short time, tried AA and found it made me want to go straight to the bottle shop, and promptly returned to drinking 3 or more bottles of Marlborough Sav Blanc every day. Never getting drunk though, as I am apparently a high functioning alcoholic. People that don't see me drink, don't suspect a thing, because I have developed such a tolerance to alcohol after drinking excessively since my mid teens. I am now 31 years old.
I risk relationships, jobs, drink driving, and friendships, all to obtain and consume alcohol steadily. The power it has over me frightens me to my core, but not as much as not having alcohol frightens me. A vicious cycle that is controlling my life.
Today,only 3 weeks after starting a new job and having already taken days off due to my addiction and what it is doing to my body, I have had to call in sick again because I am vomiting blood.
Over the last couple of months, my heart races most of the time, I shake uncontrollably, I twitch, get sharp stabbing lower abdominal pain, am often disoriented, and sweat profusely. I am now really scared, yet continue to drink excessively, just to relieve the symptoms. I start the minute I get out of bed, and continue to drink until I fall asleep.
I am going to the doctor today, because I know vomiting blood is way too stupid to ignore.
I just really want to get advice from other people in my position or who have been in the same boat in the past.
Because the first thing I did after vomiting blood was guzzle several mouthfuls of wine from the bottle. At 7:14am.
Not good.
Not good at all.
I have let my drinking spiral too far out of control...
Please help...
Thank you so much...
What does vomiting blood potentially mean? I have read so much about the health impacts that heavy long term drinking can have, and would love to hear the experiences of those who have been through similar things I have mentioned.
Unstoppablekel xxx