Just...not OK.
Guys, I really just need some encouragement.
Because...
1. Filed for default. ExAH has been completely unreachable for over 2 months now. The 20-day waiting period for him to respond to the divorce summons has come & gone...waaayyyy gone. So I filed for default on the grounds that I know he won't file a response with the courts & sent that in over a week ago. Checked CourtView. It hasn't been entered into the divorce case yet.
I just want this OVER. Why can't it just be OVER?
2. I lost my job. First they cut my position to 20hrs per week, then, when I wasn't demonstrably happy about it, decided to just fire me instead. Unemployment hasn't come through yet. I have about $300 before I'm completely broke. After 2 years of supporting exAH by working full-time, even while pregnant, even the entire time our son has been a baby, now I'm facing an empty bank account & no options instead of saving all the money I was spending on exAH & getting ahead.
3. My entire family is up visiting. I know I should be happy about it, but I'm not. My brothers & their wives are here-lucky wives, since my brothers are stand-up citizens. Last night I went over for dinner. They all sat around basically ignoring me & the baby, talking about their new houses & secure, highly-paid jobs, & things that they have in common with each other, including times they've visited one another. I left early. Sitting there in silence wasn't much fun. What am I even going to talk to them about? I'm broke, unemployed, & going through a complicated divorce.
When is it going to end, you guys? Clearly marrying exAH was a CHOICE...not the right one, obviously, but a choice. But the rest of this is just horrible, horrible bad luck &/or out of my control. And I'm tired of so many major life-changing things being out of my control...
It's somehow going to get better, right?