i'm also married to an alcoholic. my husband has just reached the point where he wants to stop. he's still struggling he's admitted his problem to his doctor and is trying to stop on his own. i think he's afraid of an extended stay in a treatment center.
if you can't find an alanon meeting in your area maybe you could get some of their literature. also, I just read codependant no more and it really gave me alot to think about.
i also found that as i let go of nagging and trying to control his behavour things improved between us. it was kind of like the harder i tried to slow down or stop his drinking the more determined he became to do it. there are alot of people at this site who understand what you're going through
take care