I apologize.
I haven't posted here in a little while. I wanted to apologize for getting so defensive about many of your replies to my thread a few weeks ago. I know you were all just desperately trying to help me (and HAVE been for the last year since my relapse) and I just wasn't ready to hear the TRUTH.
I had to go to an extremely dark place of anxiety, depression, aloneness and suicidal thoughts to finally get to a point where I was willing to make a change. I am doing much better now and finally have started to put some sober days together.
The cravings have been very hard but I just keep remembering what you guys have said in the past: "as long as you don't drink, each craving will get easier and eventually they will go away!" Drinking is a "dead end road" for me. I never want to go back. Going back would be like choosing to go back to hell. :-(
God bless you guys for all of your help and unconditional love in the past. Again, I'm sorry if I was rude. This disease (when active) makes me crazy. Another reason why I am never going back....24 hours at a time!
Xo