Liz, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. For me, I was codependent with my first husband (but didn't realize it at the time). I gave up ME for HIM. He was my LIFE. When he wanted out it absolutely DEVESTATED me. In hindsight, he did me a HUGE favor (and even said so at the time, though I couldn't see it... said I deserved better than him!). So, with my second husband, I don't find myself giving COMPLETELY of myself. I love him to pieces, but I have not lost myself in HIM. I sometimes compare that to my feelings in my first marriage and wonder why it's so different this time around. Am I stealing my heart against hurt? Or have I truly become NOT codependent upon another human to make me feel complete? It's quite the conoundrum.