Thank you - so hard, but I HAD to.
If anyone is going through violence - I'm so sorry, I heard so much terror today - my heart is just broken for her and her kids. I saw first hand today how changing your story, or not pressing charges will hurt YOU. She thought she was saving herself by saving the abuser at the time.....he would have had 6 - 9 months more of jail time, plus much more no contact time should her story not have changed (to save him consequences) each time it happened.
My hope is that anyone going through that nightmare - call the police every time. Press charges every time. You might save your or someone else's life.
I did things wrong with her for the last 8 years as a "supportive friend". I was pushy and unemotional about telling her to leave. I had little compassion and blamed her for staying. I criticized and shoved statistics and the power and control wheel in her face. She - much like me with my alcoholic - had to do things on her own time, and I could have supported her in a much more loving - yet detached for my own sanity way. I helped make that all better today I hope - and hopefully this will help someone that was in MY position in the situation.
Thanks again for listening - this is very stressful, difficult, I cant talk to our friends or much to ABF about it.