WooHoo Cow is back! I am so glad you screamed ENOUGH! Anything is better than giving up and freefalling right into the asphalt.
I know we have said this before to you but give it time. If there is a piece of advice I would give my newly quit self it would be try not to think too far ahead. Work on only what is directly in front of you and take it as is comes. I really could not have imagined were this was going to take me. To use your abyss analogy, don't look up, don't look down. Concentrate on keeping your grip on the rung you are on and carefully reach to the next one only when ready. It was a full year before I realized just how far I had fallen during my using days.
I'm glad you are back. I was on your first thread ever (first page of comments too). I had a feeling you were the kind of broad that could pull this off and even though it has taken you some time I still believe that to be the case.