Hey Cow,
I never participated in your threads before but often read parts of them. I am currently interested in exploring new connections and ways of being in my own life so I thought I would jump in here
I have always liked your imagination; I know it's a sort of escape for you (like the drugs) but is also a strong positive asset in my view. So many people are afraid of using their fantasy life as a source of creating a life that matches our inner worlds... and yes of course for those of us who like to do this, it can turn out both as a fantastical journey that brings us closer to ourselves and a reality that is aligned with our imagination, and also an entrapping habit that isolates from reality (whatever "reality" is). I am very familiar with all this myself. Something else, Cow... you know, from my external view point, as much as I can see from writings, you actually do not appear emotionally flat or someone who is uninterested or unable to connect with the experiences of others, or your own experiences
I have similar question to Hawkeye. Are you in treatment now, or what is the status?