Cricket.....don't get too hung up on the percentages---the numbers that people may proclaim.
I think it is human nature to want to fly the flags of "blame" or "innocence" very high while the war is still going on......for all to see.
Of course, part of recovery--for either party, is to arrive at understanding of one's own responsibilities (to one's self and others) and facing up to those responsibilities.
In the end, after the clamor of the battle is over, what really matters the most is to come to understand one's self and what roles were played by the various players.
This is what is really life changing.
Of course...I do get it...that you are still in the middle of the fight...and he may well be trying to hurt you, etc. I am not making light of that.
Just strive to do the next right thing for your own welfare....and, don't focus on the numbers......and, worry less about what others think.
You know the deal....and, what you think is the only thing that matters in the end.
dandylion