My husband did not realize the extent of my drinking. Toward the end, I was no longer a sloppy drunk. I know many think that that was in my head, but no, the people I've talked to, now that the cat's out of the bag admitted they did not know I was basically pounding around the clock. I'm sure there were times were it got out of control, but for the most part, he did not know. He knew I drank and at times found the forgotten pints and half-pints but he thought it was on again off again. After some alcohol induced fights that resulted over nothing but my drunkenness, meaning, I got angry about something petty, I almost told him but I was too embarrassed because it was basically my life. I was trapped in a nasty box. He just came around to thinking that was my personality.
The gig ended when I went on a bender and suffered from what would later be diagnosed as alcoholic acidosis. I had ataxia and finally fell to the ground and couldn't get up. Mind you, I was eight hours out of the drink and trying to self-detox with xanax. He realized something was totally amiss and forced me to ER where I then went to ICU and then a regular floor. finally, it all came out. I hid it well for years.
I didn't exactly plan to tell him. I'm only 13 days out, but I've been confessing things that seemed puzzling at the time. Telling him why I didn't want be the driver anytime, why I was always going to garage, or running to the store so frequently to refill my half pints. He says he's shocked at what a different person I am.
Good luck.