Wow I relate to so much of what you say, I really understand that anxiety and overwhelming feeling. We're about the same age too and i think being in our early-mid 20s has some specific challenges too, but also sooo great if we can get into recovery now and have our whole lives to life in a better way instead of just stress--combustion--managing crisis. Not a fun cycle.
And this:
It has progressively got worse and worse to the point where now, I have one drop and go on a 5 or more day binge, anything i can get my hands
on (even mouthwash, ugh) getting deeper down the spiral each day until I'm too sick to even drink anymore.
I could have written this I am 100% the same
I'm glad you're here
