I love the idea of a boundary of not letting my mom upset me and I have realized that I need to either lower my expectations or have no expectations at all when I see my mom.
It is really nice to see that your stories, while they are different, are very similar to mine. We are definitely not alone in this.
The boundary I make is for me and to protect myself from the enabling and other family dysfunction. I need to realize that everyone will deal with the situation how they see fit. It is hard not to try to make people see it your way and that is something that I need to personally work on. I guess I need a boundary to protect myself from my siblings as well because of their unconscious enabling of my mother. I need to not have any expectations with them and what they decide to do.
This is definitely the hardest thing in my life after getting sober. I feel that quitting the drink and dealing with the physical ramifications is almost easier then dealing with all the emotions that come with an alcoholic in your life.
You guys are fantastic! Thank you!!