My counselor made a comment awhile ago and it is still sticking with me. She said in a relationship it is 50/50 percent of the blame. Um No -I did not like this comment, still do not. She did back down on that when I explained what I thought.
I was reading a blog of a person married to an alcoholic and she was describing a ride in the car with her AH and kids and how she was not engaging him and was working hard at not letting the situations get bad, and then he made a comment on her having a stick.
Tonight | Taking Back Me The comment was way below the belt. I've lived this. I know after awhile you just need to say/do something. This is the point that I'm at fault.
I will take up to 30% of the blame (if that much) but AH has been for 4 years bent on destroying us and has succeeded. (Divorce will be final in 30-60 days) Now he wants to destroy me, financially, so I'm not sure how I can share 50% of the blame for the failure of my marriage.
The second thing is both my counselor and my brother-in-law(old fashion person) both think I should think about dating. Right now there is no way I want to date. I personally want time to figure me out. I've gone through a lot in the last 5 years and would just like less complications in my life.
Just baffling that there don't seem to be the social support out there for spouses other then al anon to help spouses. I did not attend al anon but twice and I don't think it would of helped because I still do not know what to do when AH is cruel. (he enjoys destroying my material stuff - lots of long stories)