SoberP ~
No Grand Insights from me on your pending Travel.
I 'force' new experiences on myself. I used to park every day in the same Dog Park Lot where I'd toke on my always-present 'Handle' of Vodka. Sans Vodka, I hardly give that same location any thought. Our local Market here out West is adjacent to a new, larger Liquor Store. I'd buy a few Shooters, and pound them 'discretely' while Da Wife was in the Store. Then, I'd do the 5+ hour drive East to the former City House w/BAC undetermined. Hey, when I'm a DumbAzz, I do it full tilt. I don't mess around.
Pick a few 'safe' spots, and re-experience them Sober. It's a trip! Find some new spots, too. For me, this discipline kinda wipes clean the old Hard Drive of Hammered Memories, and rewrites my mental Disc over those former experiences.
Otherwise, without this type of 'forced rewrite' of places while now Sober, the old Memories are the default ones; the ones that can trigger. I stare down my AV straight away while thinking: 'C'mon, MoFo. You think you can jack me around? Try it! You just don't know who you're screwing with'. I was bullied in Middle School, and view my AV as just another Bully I refuse to capitulate to.
Then, this moment quickly passes, and I go on with Life while Sober; feeling a sense of triumph that I own these situations.
Either you own Fear, or it owns you.
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