Thank you for your input Troy and Dee,
Thank god my husband is extremely supportive but he is also getting sick and tired. He gets the "just for today" and lives by that. He told me he will try to help her understand as well. She sees it as extremely selfish...which it is. The letter idea is very good, Troy. Im not sure when she is coming home (bc she is not talking to me) so she may show up at any time. She flew in from FLA late last night and stayed at her BF who lives much closer to the airport. Perhaps she will not be as angry bc she has had a few days to process this....again....or perhaps that is just my wishful thinking!
I think your suggestion of explaining that I know it is a problem and I am committeed to trying to stop..again....that's all I can do
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As far as BBQ, Dee. Maybe my explanation was confusing.I think I meant that she may not think it was a "big deal" for a mom to be drunk n a Wednesday night. Her parents drink often and maybe live like that. My son said I do not need to apologize to her...just let it go..I do have to stop by for a bit. My husband will be with me and we can leave if I feel the need to. Believe it or not, I usually am not affected at parties. I haven't drank publically in 10 years!. Its home that's the problem. I realize, though, that even being exposed to alcohol at a party can be a trigger later on!
Thank you for your input and I will keep in touch.