It sounds like the A's cannot or will not take responsibility to making someone else's life happy. My son is my A. My son JJ (my A) disappeared for 5 months once. Once found and after many months in jail and rehab: I let him back in. he continued to take my soul and possessions and I helplessly stood by. One thing he did tell me later. When he went "dark", he didn't want to face me to discuss the addiction. My advice?
Detach and let it run its course. It takes time for you and it removes the entire comfort zone he is used to.