I really like the idea of "she forgave me, but could not recover from what I did."
My exhusband & I never got it back. Granted, there was physical and emotional abuse, and lots of it. But the thought of living a life tied to him literally made my stomach turn after I saw what he was capable of. SO much anxiety in never knowing "who" he actually was...this horrific, mean person when he's out of drugs or is he actually the sweet guy that he is when he's high? I was tired of never knowing what i'd get on any given day. it is exhausting.
so i just removed myself from the equation, let him fall flat on his face. he ended up in rehab & (for now) is about 200 days sober. we have a child & only communicate when needed. he isn't playing a father role at the moment because he's in IOP, working, etc. Not fair to my daughter - but addiction is selfish - recovery is too.
Sometimes the damage is done & you're better off to leave the pieces.