I'm still trying to figure out the answer to that question for myself. I've been separated almost 3 years, RAH sober 21 months and working AA. I go to Alanon and therapy. We do MC weekly. The first year I could not have lived with him. He was blaming, angry and reactive. After 18 months, he began to be able to work on relating to the kids. We recently discussed the idea that all people deserve respect and kindness because he believes it's ok to treat people disrespectfully if he thinks they have disrespected him. This is his rational for treating me disrespectfully. Last week was our first MC session that did not involve him overreacting, blaming, and yelling at me or the therapist.
I would not be in this marriage or even attempting to see if it can be repaired if we lived together. That would just be more than I could emotionally manage. Living separate allows me the time to recover so that wherever my marriage ends up, I'll be in a better place to handle it. I try to just focus on doing as much work on myself as I can while I have the space to do it.
Good luck TG. There are no easy answers regardless of what you choose to do. Both are hard.