Oh am i hearing you Lorelai...When id hear this,to, my brain would burn to toast.lol.Even some of my family members,would tell me about another couple in our family,who were also having issues with alcoholism.Well,she has her hub under control.She told him that she would leave,if he continued,and so he stoped,just like that,as they were looking down at me.How often i heard,that i just wasnt doing enough to make,yes make,,my own hub,stop,drinking.and when i was thinking about leaving,well,then they really gave it to me.I was abdaning ship,,so to speak.!..But ya know i knew the truth,.That no matter what another attibutes their soberiety to,or to whom,first that person had to be willing,open..a desire,,for changes.God work in mysteries ways.My belief is that if the person is not willing/open,,he/she will continue as they are.No matter how much another loves them.I myself as well as my hub,came to recovery when we decided,that enough was enough .Each made a decision,within ourselves,before taking action towards recovery.So today when i hear that its the love of another that attibutes to their recovery,it just doesn't bother me.Live and let live,to each their own.I just know how it works out for us.
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,take care!!!!!!!