The friends place fell through but I now have the keys to a better place and my boys will be moving in with me on the 25rd of July. I am moving in next week to give me time to have curtains up and my stuff unpacked before they arrive with all their things.
My children are warriors. They have shielded my boys from the worst of it and I can see why 3 are not speaking to me cos exah basically went from functioning to being too ill to have detox in the space of 8 months of me leaving. Cos of exah manipulation I couldn't even get back in the house to help. I am hoping counselling and time to reflect may help them see things how it is instead of exah's tainted view of it.
I've tried to be gracious. I've tried to be supportive but it all comes down to exah is a selfish waste of space who ruins everyone's lives he comes in contact with. He refused to even transfer the boys disability money until I claim it. I had to get a grant to tide us over. If I hadn't we would have struggled. Exah doesn't care. His only consideration is how much money he has for drink. My poor boys hate him now for what they have witnessed and what they have woken up to. He has done it all himself.
So onwards and upwards. My boys have agreed to go to AL-anon and my son, touchingly said on the phone today. It's great to talk to you, mum, cos you are sober. It's great to know when we are with you we can sleep in peace and there will be no one shouting and banging around and drinking all night. That we won't get up to mess everywhere and be alone all day with nothing to eat in the house. : ( So they are coming to me. Life can only get better.