Hi again troops,
I'm so far behind on posts I'm having to quickly say hi on Auth VI, p.2, for eff's sake!
I've been getting very down n dirty with all the rehab stuff, especially given this place's dual diagnosis focus. As of today (15th), barely a few days left before going home on the 21st.
Once back home, I'll be busy managing all that I have to do each day, both inwardly and outwardly. I look back over this frightful relapse of so many months as if it was a horrible hiatus in a parallel universe or something...yet also, very, very real, in real time. The real work starts next Tues, also in very real time and space. Feeling a bit scared this time, but also have to remember every day that I have many more supports of all kinds than on previous occasions.
There's also a relentless stream of highly triggering birthday memoriams during August, and now after Sue, September - itself, barely a few weeks after the twins' birthday (and still estranged from them), then the first anniversary of Sue's death, cremation, memorial service through November well into December, followed shortly after by my remaining sis' birthday, mine (60th) a day later, then Christmas Day.
So, yeah, it's gonna be hard. But I can do it with highly targetted outpatients' groups on 1-2 days / week, speaking with my worker, meetings, and finally hopefully finding a suitable psychotherapist not too far away to slowly help me un-burden so much of the past traumas, losses, griefs. Phew! And in between, living a balanced life at home with Bessie, trying new social things or some hobbies (old or new), etc etc etc. God knows how anyone finds the time to (do paid) work in early recovery, beats me!!!
Enough from me now, bedtime....I apologise for not having being able to even read through all the latest stories, reflections etc of the last several days. But know, as I'm sure you all do, that I often think of you all. And R and M, I did offer up a metta prayer for you guys during last Thursday evening's prayer / reflection group in the lovely pastoral care Quiet Room along with about 10 other patients - 2 of us from AOD unit, and the rest from psychiatric. It was a very powerful little session.
Lots of love all, Vic xxx