Hey Christi, My husband is also an alcoholic. We have three children 11, 7, and 2. Coming to this board and my spirituality have been more help than anything. Knowing that your not the only one is very comforting. These guys are good guys and we obviously love them or we wouldn't be here.
Keep coming back back and find a meeting to go to. Get yourself a good support network and start working on you. Everything else becomes "clearer." At least it has for me. My husband still hasn't sought help. He is still in denial and may be forever, but I have come to realize that I don't have to include myself on his crazy roller-coaster. I put myself and the children before anything else. If he chooses to include himself in these activities great, but if not we are still great.
I have talked with my oldest about his fathers drinking. My father and both of my husbands parents are also alcoholics, so I had plenty of comparasons for my son. I try to point out that although his father loves us that he like any human makes bad choices. One of those being drinking. As your children get older and you become more comfortable with yourself, you will know what to say and how much to say. I do a lot of praying for wisdom and it really works. For now just work on you!
Good luck and keep coming back
constant