Can I blame someone else for my relapse?
I read this on the Forum the other day: "A huge step in your recovery is leaving the circle of friends you once knew. Surrounding yourself with positive people who are either sober or supportive of your sobriety is an important part of maintaining a sober lifestyle."
I am thinking how important that is for me. I have to admit that I got drunk last week despite not really wanting to and I am going to blame it - partly - on someone else. Basically I met someone I used to work with and he chose a swanky bar as the venue and ordered an expensive wine and I just caved in and had a beer with him, which turned into four beers and a hangover.
As soon as he'd got the wine down him, he was arrogant and nasty and trying to show me how much better than me he is, brining up private things from my past which I'd told him years ago in confidence in a way that was designed to make me feel low. I remembered very quickly why I''d avoided him recently.
Look, I know it wasn't his fault I drank. I could have had a coffee or not gone. But under his influence, the sensible approach I normally have to alcohol and recovery was swept aside.
He wanted me to do him a favour in business and afterwards I wrote a polite email to him explaining him why I can't. The reality is, I don't want to work with him again and I have no need to do so. I won't miss him and I don't think he'll miss me.
In the past, blaming other people for my problems was a characteristic of my alcoholism. So he's not to blame but I will avoid him anyway.