Why can't you go to inpatient treatment?
When someone drinks themselves to the brink of end-stage alcoholism, as both you and I did, I HIGHLY suggest making recovery your ONLY priority and go to inpatient.
IOP is all well and good, but 30 solid days in a safe environment with on-site medical supervision will allow your body to heal.
I did a LOT of damage to my body from my stint in the ICU. I'm still paying for it after almost 2 and a half years of sobriety. I understand the IVs. I understand the constant monitoring of vitamin/mineral levels. My liver panels were off the chart.
If I had drank again in early sobriety, even just a few drinks, I would be dead. My body just wouldn't have been able to handle it. Please think about inpatient. We're talking about your life here.