notgonnastoptry

Here's my story and I hope it will be a lesson for people on the fence or those deciding to go back.

Been drinking in moderation for about 8. The round the clock stuff started about four years ago. I always thought I was young and it couldn't happen to me or that I had some years left in me.

These last few months have been the worst of it. Additional stresses and stuff made me pick up vodka more and more. I was going through nearly a fifth a day. I was proud when I didn't finish it, but I'd polish it off in the morning before work and get another at 7 am. I did the pint bs, thinking I'd limit myself. I'd be back at the store later that day. Who was a fooling?

Any case, I went on a bigger bender over the fourth and basically stayed with another of my kind where we drank all day. At the end I was throwing up everything, even water. Sleeping all the time. Didn't put a morsel down my throat ever. Couldn't drive home. Spouse had to come get me and the other person's spouse helped him with the double cars. Spouse is not supportive and very sick and tired of this which is weird because he had NO IDEA the extent of this.

back at the homestead, I was very thirsty and up all night drinking ice water. Threw it up almost seconds later, sometimes in the bed. this outraged him more. He finally told me he's taking me to the hospital or calling 9-11. I refused. Kept refusing until he told me my signs looked really bad and that I might go into a coma. This scared me and we went. I had to be wheeled in the hospital. After some initial tests, they determined all of my electryotes were way off. Potassium and magnesium all messed up. Heart beat and blood pressure sky high. The admitted me to ICU. I was shocked. I've never been in a hospital.

They were able to semi-stablize me after a few days in ICU but I've been on a potassium drip the entire time. It wasn't until today that I can sort of walk without my IV pole.

This is hands down the worst experience of my life. It doesn't help that my husband is more angry than sympathetic. He keeps bringing stuff up, telling me how irresponsible I am, how I wrecked the family (I did, but I apologized and I'm getting into out patient therapy asap).

Levels are pretty stable now. Heartbeat is around 90 (better than over 100), blood sugar is usually low, but after sitting around, I guess it's going to go up, and blood pressure is finally normal again.

Mentally, I'm feeling very guilty and I can't believe I did this to my body. My little trick in my mind was that I would go see my family doc after I was sober for a few months so I didn't get bad news about the liver. the dr. said my something was a 39. Does anyone know what this number is? He said I don't have cirhossis (sp?) but would have developed it within a few months. Magnesium is 1.5.

so, I guess I ended up with a much fuller checkup than I ever imagined. I hope this is the turning point I need. I'm really scared right now. My stomach is in knots and I wanted to share that it finally happened. So please take care.