I also forgot to add that he is off his meds. He wanted to try life without them and see if he can handle it.....so it's been about a month now that he is off....
I really think I'm dealing with some duel dx stuff. As I and other posters have mentioned...the abuse and jealousy are not alcohol related in my opinion and I have made that clear to him (that I feel that way).
I keep thinking that this man is WAY to angry for me to live with. It's always just right below the surface, ya know?
I'm one of those people who can really really FEEL others emotions and it just rolls off of them in waves.....literally waves- I know it's weird...but I'm telling you I can FEEL this crap.
I talked to my grandma- as you all remember she REALLY helped us out when AH was in treatment. She said I should just be quietly putting money away (when I start working again). Nothing is a crisis yet, so just being more prepared is probably better. I'm not going to tip toe around this dude, but I think I should--for my own safety and that of the kiddos)---begin self-sufficiency preparations. It's a lot easier to handle the emotional BS if the money BS is under control, ya know?
Thanks so much everyone...good thoughts here. I love you all ! Hugs