I would whole heartedly agree with Ileana. 20 year olds are selfish and still fear the "no" that we parents impose so they do things without our knowledge.
Joie, thank you for that insightful post. It is the hardest thing us parents ever do: let our kids choose for themselves.
AWF, you are doing great. keep the communication lines open with your son. Let him know the boundaries. Love him.