I try and not vilify drinking as a whole . Nor would I describe anyone's drinking as problematic, that is for the individual to realize or decide, some people are fine with whatever drinking they do and have decided that even if they themselves consider their consumption at times to be abusive still feel little or no motivation to change their behavior.
But other people's' drinking can be problematic to Me, and then I have every right and proper motivation to Do something about it, or not.
I'd probably be fine going on a one off trip to a winery , go on a tour learn about the production process just for curiousity sake, even be fine with being the DD , knowing others can /will indulge. But no more than I would like to tour the Hersey factory, been there done that, right?
After one tour I'd mention perhaps the group should look into a car service, or suggest you'd be willing to tag along on a tee totaling tour, not sure how popular that would be
It's okay to say that going isn't something you want to do. But to risk a try at moderation ? Really?
Their activities are fueling your AV, I think, you can be proactive about it, if you want to stay quit. It may be uncomfortable from a social inclusion perspective, but why would anyone choose to be included at the risk of becoming addicted?
If the attempt at moderation is to please someone else, I would suggest first to try and convince someone else to be the DD and go and enjoy the camaraderie of the outing, it just doesn't sound like fun to me, I think my AV would like me think I am missing out, but I'm pretty sure I'm not, I just have boozy friends.