Ray you seem to be capable of self-esteem, although booze can hit it badly. Look at your life as a story someone is telling years later. Do you want it to say 'and sadly he couldn't overcome his demons and he lost his marriage, his relationship with his children....you've got to pity him' or 'he woke up in time to rescue his marriage and go on from strength to strength'? The feeling that drunkenness wasn't going to be the end of my story, that I was better than that, was what finally motivated me. Once you have that motivation quitting becomes a choice not a deprivation.
Your decision to stop drinking should not be something imposed on you by outside forces (fear, your wife, your family) - it is what you choose for yourself. If you start drinking again, that will be a choice as well.
Sometimes choosing to stay sober includes seeking support from doctors, groups, mentors, SR etc, because you're determined to give yourself every advantage.