Hi, Ray-
Welcome to SR! You took a great first step today.
Yes, it's sad you are drinking in your car around the corner. But every single one of us has done something just as sad in our addiction.
My husband has asked me for the past 2 yrs to quit drinking. I couldn't do it for him or our kids, although I wished so much I could. I had to get to that final straw where I decided I was ready to be done and I deserved a sober life, and that they deserved a sober me.
I drank in the evenings only, so for a long time thought I wasn't hurting anyone. I was so wrong. My husband would come home and I would make it seem like I was just opening the first bottle of wine to share with him for dinner. The truth? I had already pounded an entire bottle myself within a ridiculously small time frame and hid the bottle in the trash. He would know I was drinking yet I would deny it vehemently.
The Sober Me would never lie. Period.
I decided on 5/14/15 to take alcohol off the table. Arguments with my husband have all but ceased (since he doesn't need to nag me about drinking, and I am not picking random fights) and my kids are so happy.
You will find a lot of support here! I use SR for my main source of recovery, but I have read into many other methods as well, including AVRT, SMART, and AA. I also read whatever I could about recovery/ addiction. Something will make sense to you if you dig in.
Great to meet you!