Originally Posted by
Sleepbetteray 
I'm scared of change I guess. I'm scared to go to AA. To ask for help, to find a sponsor. Scared to admit I'm powerless. Everything in my life I've tried at, I've been successful, except quitting drinking.
Welcome to SR Sleepbetteray. You will find a lot of support here, and those who understand exactly where you are coming from.
Regarding your statement above, getting sober is a scary proposition to your addiction. It wants nothing more that to keep you drinking at all costs. Think for a second how utterly irrational your thought pattern is - you are more scared to ask for help than to lose your marriage and children? Yeah- that's crazy talk, right? But it's par for the course for addiction....alcoholism doesn't care what you lose as long as you keep pouring those beers down your throat.
The good news is you have the power to stop things in their tracks right now, today if you want. Will it be scary? A little. But once you find out how friendly and supportive the recovery community is ( whether you do AA or not ), you'll find out that it was all for naught. Make today the day you kick alcohol to the curb and work on getting better.