Originally Posted by
Alchemist1978 
Hi everyone,
Sorry I have missed you all. I ran to the bottle again this weekend and went on a bender. Why cannot accept the fact that I am a alcoholic!
Ask yourself if it's really that you "cannot" accept it or that you "will not" accept it. As Anna says, denial is very common in addiction. Looking back through your posts you've had a lot of "day 1s" and even been to the ER/hospital due to withdrawals.....which is all pretty strong physical evidence that you are an alcoholic that you are obviously denying somehow.
For most what is necessary is a daily plan to get started That can mean a lot of things but here are some examples:
* AA /NA/LifeRing/Smart or other meeting based recovery
* Inpatient or outpatient rehab,
* Counseling ( drug alcohol specific or general )
* Online resources like SR and join daily threads/groups
* Self Paced methods like AVRT, etc
* Meditation/Mindfulness
* Self help books/reading
Bottom line though, It's up to you to take action and make a plan using resources like mentioned above. You need to take the initiative yourself and do the work - bearing in mind that no matter what method you choose, there will be things you need to do that you do not want or like to do. Addiction is strong and there is no "easy" fix, nor a permanent cure - you will need to work at it daily. The rewards far outweigh the work though.