Hi everyone,
I just can't take it anymore. I am exhausted and feel disgusting. I was able to maintain sobriety for over 18 months and stupidly let an old friend talk me into drinking again because I "didn't have a problem." Yea. Right. I knew better, but my beast was ready.
Here I am a year and half later back to drinking wine every night and waking up feeling like complete crap. 😒😒😒😒.
So, here we go. I think I know what to do and pray to God to have the mindset to move forward. I hate my life right now. An ill child, father with Alzheimer 's and a divorce. All of it is a million times more difficult because I feel so bad every single morning.
My daughter came home from college for a month and she saw me drink every night- almost an entire bottle of wine - every single night. I cannot believe I have chosen to deal with my stress like this.
I know better, but, really escaping just was easier. I feel so guilty. I should have enjoyed my time with her, but all the demands and the questions and wanting money - I caved and drank. It's like the only thing that - sorry to say it like this - that shuts all the demands from everyone up.
I also have twins on the autism spectrum. Most days are ok, but the isolation of having disabled kids is very lonely and wine makes it go away. Wine has become my best friend.
How messed up is that?!?
I know I need to get my act back together. Thank you for letting me vent.