My marriage isn't really like where I would prefer it... if you asked her, she'd probably say the same. That said, I'm sure glad neither of us started making decisions about it since we've been in recovery. I credit Alanon and AA for making the life inside my head a lot nicer, and painful and/or uncomfortable stuff outside in the world something to be accepted instead of feared. She has a different experience in her recovery program- I try to leave hers alone.
Theres a friend of mine in my alanon home group with an active alcoholic husband, its a really tough situation. But she is transformed over the last 10 months or so. Its a daily emotionally painful situation w/ 2 kids in the house but she's in a much better emotional & physical condition- I'd hazard spiritually too though she doesn't talk much about her higher power, but she's getting in better shape and is more relaxed, so things are headed in good directions.