Originally Posted by jjj111

TTH, I really feel for you. My father was a lifelong alcoholic who drank until the end. He passed away from some combination of pancreatic cancer and cirrhosis at the age of 57. He had always been emotionally distant and abusive. So by the time that he told me he was dying, we had been estranged for years and I had a very hard time mustering much energy or sympathy for his final illness. I felt very guilty about this, but I have worked over the years on trying to forgive myself. My lack of sympathy and energy to care for him was in many ways a consequence of his drinking. Anyway, I think it's good that you are thinking through your feelings on this. Maybe in some way this is a silver lining of your encounter with your AXBF, that you have begun to see more clearly how your father's drinking affects you and your family?