Welcome aboard.
I don't think it matters whether you view or label yourself as alcoholic, if those horrible things continually happen to you when you drink, that's probably never going to change if you keep taking that first drink. The only way to ensure that alcohol doesn't get you into the type of trouble it has landed you in repeatedly, is to never have any at all. Coming here is a big step. Like you, I needed a million terrible things to happen to me before I was ready to change.