I keep getting this November thread and didn't want to butt in as I am a January sober baby. We're all in this together though.
I cry for happy, cry for sad. I am seeing my moods normaling out some the longer I stay sober. I am still in my infancy at 17 months and counting but I am doing better. The problem for most of us is we want it now. We want relief now. We want the answers now. We want to be happy now. Life is not a straight line and it is not a place. It is a journey. It does help to have people in your life that can help and support you in any of your endeavors. I thankfully have God in my life again and it is He who has done the most for me. I am thankful too for the sober people I meet and those here on SR from whom I can gather a sense of belonging. We understand better than any what it is like to be in our shoes.
Keep on keeping on Ananda and do it for you. We know how life could be much worse than we imagine on a daily basis if we were to pick up again. Search out things that you like to do and things that make you feel calm and serene. Keep working on yourself. One day you'll realize that you are happy with whom you've become.