I'm trying to reach out to others ... not only to get help, but also to be helpful...
None of it seems to be working.
So right now, I'm just working on life stuff and hoping that will be enough. I realize that if I drink, there will be people there to help me deal with why drinking should never have been an option.
Pre-drink is the problem ... something beyond drinking urges. I'm getting more and more depressed and angry over my situation, and drinking isn't an answer and won't help.
I'm staying sober out of a belligerent attitude of I won't drink. I'm trying to try and help others and be honest about where I'm at without being a whiny demanding person.
I talk to AA people even though I'm not really an "AA" anymore.
This weekend was rough. I'm sure in a few days I'll be back with a positive post.
If I don't post for a while, don't worry that I've drank again. I really don't think I will.
I'm just confused, irritated and struggling. I think that's probably just life like we all go through it and I'm just one of those people who says things about it when they ought to just pull up their big girl pants and march on with dignity. I've just never been very good at that
I'm glad you are doing well Cola! I am pretty sure you are working hard on how to deal with the depression, and you have stayed sober a long time which gives you a big boost on dealing with it (hug).
