FreeOwl, I agree, more people are more dependent than many would like to admit. I agree with all the anecdotal evidence, and have similar experiences. But I'm aware of my shortcomings as well. Like I said, my conclusions are suspect.
I guess, largely, the questions you posed about what constitutes addiction or dependence are what I dig about this conversation. If I have to question it, that means I don't know, and I need to be wary of my deductions of logic. My logic is flawed...badly.
Besides, all generalizations are bad, right?
(Hey, wait a minute...)
If I want, I can apply the same rules as a thought exercise to myself.
I cut loose by playing loud, obnoxious music on a frequent basis. Several times a week, even. Sometimes, this is in the company of others who also enjoy a good dose of Motörhead, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Saxon, and Dio. I've been doing it for years. So have others. The music industry is also a multibillion dollar industry. It's a product that has little practical value beyond thr aesthetic.
By your rubric, I'm looking at a heavy metal dependency of varying degree. But we haven't looked at whether I have periods of abstaining, whether it had an adverse effect, whether I can quit if I'm motivated.
As it stands, I'd say that my headbanging sessions are part.because I enjoy the music (your mileage may vary...heh), part because its available, and part because its familiar. I suspect many, many people drink at these convivial events for similar reasons.
(UP THE IRONS! \m/)
Speaking strictly for myself, I've found that when I start to justify my conclusions, its again time to check my motives. Why am I concerned? Am I putting my personal spin on things? Effectively, I'm looking for objectivity, and that's hard to achieve on my own.
I also know that when I'm trying to prop up my conclusions by justifying, I'm not TRULY at peace with those conclusions, which means I'm still not at peace with myself regarding that stimuli. That's okay, I'm a work in progress. (Tell me that when I'm frustrated. Heh.)
Beyond thay, I hate to put labels on people unnecessarily. It was either Kierkergard or Dick Van Patten that said, "When you label me, you negate me." If my conclusions are suspect, so will the labels I use.
I like that you said you want to learn to live as an example. I strive for that, and some days go better than others. Yesterday was a struggle for reasons unrelated to alcohol, and I had to be VERY dilligent in how I chose to view the world. Thankfully, looking at myself to examine the color I see the world in is something I've managed to make a habit. Sometimes, I suspect it makes me appear disinterested or aloof of others. That may be true, but I also think its an indication of my acceptance that the world outside of me will be, and its not my job to evaluate it, judge it, direct it, or otherwise attempt to be more one of the 6-7 billion that meander around this ball of dirt.
"Eighty percent of human wisdom is born out of a desire not to meddle in the affairs of others, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter." -Robert Heinlein.
That quote serves me well.
At any rate, I do enjoy a lively, friendly debate, something that seems rare (the friendly part). I find a lot of people wind up taking things personally, and thats not the intent. So thanks for keeping cheerul, and understanding that I genuinely enjoy the discourse, regardless of whether we move our stances or not.
You'll likely be rid of me this afternoon, as I intend to indulge in Formula 1 racing and irritate another message board by wishing I was David Hobbes or Steve Matchet.
Cheers!
"Always Believe!" -The Ultimate Warrior