Butterfly....if you really want my perspective....this is what I would tell my very best firlfriend: "leave the guy alone. At this point, contacting him seems pressuring and controlling, in nature.
Friendships are purely voluntary...and, forcing and coersion(sp?) can stiffle or ruin the relationship. You need to respect his rights...and, he has the right to back off at any time HE wants or needs to---and, he isn't obligated to defend himself to you (though he might choose to).
I suspect that he started on one foot....but, decided that he saw some red flags that you have some issues with relationships and communication of boundaries, etc........and doesn't want to get involved with that! He may feel your obsessiveness and not want that, either. Obsessiveness can be very pressuring to another person if it is directed toward them (as it is in this case)....and it is natural that people will try to move away from it.
He likely does not harbor any i ll will toward you. He probably will not "trust" the situation to make close contact in the future.....but, who knows?
The situation is what it is, right now. Leave it alone. You will only make it worse. This is life and you have to accept the reality of things whether you like it or not.
This is a universal law---and it applies to me and everyone else on the planet----not only you.
You don't get to whine and say "poor me" about this. That puts you into a victim mode...which you are not. You conducted yourself in htis relationship with your free will---and you have to accept the consequences of that.
Sorry to be so blunt--but, as a honest friend, it is an obligation of friendship to be honest with you."
This is exactly what I would say to a friend, Butterffly-----and I have often had to say things like this to good friends.
dandylion