Originally Posted by
searching peace 
Living separate lives while being married has always been such a completely sad thing to me and so many people advocate that on here.
I don't believe I've ever seen ANYONE advocate this. In fact, I've often seen it said that detachment is not a long-term solution. It's a tool to be used while working on one's own recovery and trying to find the right path and right course of action. For many of us, it takes a while to see the truth of where we are and what we need and want to do. Detachment can give us enough time and space and peace to do that.